She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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