At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
