Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
