remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
