I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
