is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
