wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
