Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
