Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
