There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
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