when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
