There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I supernannyed him into submission
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
