Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
