i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
