Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
