Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
