I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
