Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
