weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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