just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
