What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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