I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
