You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
