so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
