He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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