If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
