they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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