Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
