I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
