the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
