i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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