i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
