so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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