what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
