and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
