the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
