I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
