Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
