actually, I'm a sock model
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
