Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
