fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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