I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
