So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
