no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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