Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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