Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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