i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Found your dick twin last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
