i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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