So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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