Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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